How Weight Loss Changed Me

(This was my 1/27 post on Lexington Medical Center’s Every Woman Blog.)

“Are you dating anyone?”

That was the third question my internist, Dr. Brad Word, asked when I stopped by Columbia Medical Group for some blood work.

His nurse, Teresa, shot him a dirty look and said, “Why do you ask that just because she’s lost weight? She’s still the same person she was before she lost weight.”

In his defense, Dr. Word always asks me that question; it’s usually about the third one. He is a family doctor in every sense of the word, no pun intended, and when one of us see him, it’s like we all see him. He always asks about the family first; in this case, he asked how my mother and sister were doing. Dr. Word isn’t hitting on me, nor is he a nosy doc; the question and my resulting answer, he says, gives him a barometer my mood.

Back to his question, “Are you dating anyone?”

I laughed it off and gave one of my usual flip answers: “No, can you believe it?” or “Why? Do you have someone in mind?” But later that night, I recalled his nurse’s reaction and wondered if I was really the same person I was before I lost weight.

To quote Madonna, “No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”  When I compare my self of today with my self from 85 lbs. ago, I’d say that I’m the same, but a little better.  Mary Pat 2.0, if you will.

My fundamental self, that person I am deep down, has stayed the same. I still root for the underdog, play Devil’s advocate and use humor to avoid familiarity. I procrastinate. I am competitive, obsessive-compulsive and rebellious. I don’t like the status quo, and heaven knows, I still have the same hips, just a little smaller.

On the flip side, since I’ve lost weight, I’m more direct and stand up for myself more. I am more confident. I take a few more risks. I’m more forgiving of my mistakes, not as hard on myself as before. While my sister would say that I still seek the spotlight, I’d say that I’m more comfortable staying behind the scenes and giving credit to others. On a superficial note, I’m smaller, and my clothes look better. And after years of short styles, I’m growing out my hair.

Not all of the changes have been positive. I find myself less tolerant of those with unhealthy lifestyles. Because I had such an unhealthy lifestyle for so long, I have a hard time understanding that one. I’m also less social because I have less free time and still haven’t figured out how to manage social events that revolve around food and drink.

As I move into the second year of this new lifestyle, the changes are evening out. I’m working on losing the last five pounds and building strength, but the physical changes are slowing down. The things that were first so challenging and disruptive at first – grocery shopping, cooking, working out – have become more comfortable routines. The overwhelming high of “finally losing the weight” is being replaced by the steady satisfaction of attaining wellness and enjoying the resulting benefits. Finally, I’m getting used to the person that I see in the mirror.

But am I dating anyone? Why? Do you have someone in mind?

Make Your Own Ranch Dressing Mix – No MSG!

Homemade Ranch Dressing Mix

Ingredients

½ cup dry buttermilk
1 tbsp dried parsley, crushed
1 tsp dried dill weed
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp dried onion flakes
1 tsp salt
½ tsp garlic powder
¼ tsp ground pepper

Combine all ingredients in your food processor and grind until it becomes a fine powder. Store in an airtight container.

Three tablespoons = One store bought packet

Dad’s Tiniest Caregiver, Gizmo

This may be a duplicate for some of you, but this is a copy of my post on Lexington Medical Center’s Every Woman blog:

 

In Memory Of My Father, Richard Baldauf

On Sunday, December 11, my father, Richard Baldauf, lost his brave struggle with dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB). I am feeling so many emotions, but instead of focusing on me, I want to share an amazing story of God’s grace that I experienced firsthand

Five years ago, my father was diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB), a form of dementia that shares characteristics with both Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases.  From day one, I felt helpless because Dad could no longer enjoy the many things we used to do together like talk politics, do puzzles or work around the house. Up until this summer, I felt bad that I couldn’t do more for him, but that all changed when I found Gizmo, a rescue Pomeranian pup who changed Dad’s last six months in a way that I couldn’t.

Dad never really had indoor pets, but for years had a loving Chow mix named Lucy. As Dad’s illness progressed, Lucy came in during the day to keep Dad company. Unfortunately, Lucy was diagnosed with cancer in November of last year and died at home the following February. My mother, sister and I gave Dad some time to grieve, but we were anxious to get Dad a new canine companion, perhaps even a little lap dog. We made several attempts and even brought one home for a trial visit, but Dad was adamant that he didn’t want another dog.

As Dad’s somewhat rebellious daughter, I wasn’t going to take Dad’s refusals lying down. My sister and I kept our eyes open and even checked local rescue websites, but we hadn’t been able to find the right dog. Then one fateful Saturday, I was shopping at Harbison and stopped by PetsMart on a whim. There were several rescue groups on site, but I only saw puppies and larger dogs. I sighed in disappointment and decided to try again later.

On my way out, I spotted one last rescue group, Fairfield County Animal Adoption Center. At first glance, I saw no small dogs, but a volunteer told me they did have a rescue Pomeranian named Gizmo, but he was outside being walked. As we waited for his return, she told me that Gizmo’s first home was with a wheelchair bound man and that the dog would sit in his lap all day. That was my first tinge of hope. Dad used a walker, and any dog who rode in a wheelchair probably wouldn’t mind a walker. She went on to explain that when Gizmo’s owner passed away, the dog went to an abusive home where he was beaten with canes and brooms and generally neglected.

At that time, in walked a volunteer with a precious little bundle of fur that was Gizmo. I may’ve been on the fence before, but I was immediately determined to adopt Gizmo for Dad. I tried to call my sister to get a second opinion, but couldn’t reach her; I just took a giant leap of faith and adopted Gizmo. Janice screened me well and asked a lot of questions, but thankfully was as convinced as I that this was meant to be.

Fast forward to Mom and Dad’s house, where I walked in with Gizmo.  Dad had no more made that funny face and started to say no when Gizmo jumped in his lap; the rest is history. Within the hour, he was telling us, “This is my dog!” And indeed, Gizmo was Dad’s dog. He took to Dad immediately, and in the coming days, their bond grew exponentially. Quite simply, Gizmo gave Dad unconditional love and friendship that truly enhanced his quality of life in his final days.

These are just a few of the examples of how amazing Gizmo was for my dad:

  • Gizmo stayed by Dad’s side practically 24 hours a day, seven days a week. During the day, he sat on Dad’s lap in the easy chair in the living room, and at night, slept right beside him.

    My dad with his faithful companion, Gizmo

  • Gizmo made it easier for Dad to have guests.  With Gizmo, he always had something to talk about.  He could easily make conversation about the dog, while remembering current events or previous visits were more difficult for him.
  • In addition to the love he provided, Gizmo also became Dad’s smallest care giver.  On many occasions, Gizmo sounded the alert that help was needed. Once, when Dad was struggling to get out of the bed while Mom was making breakfast, Gizmo ran into the kitchen and barked until Mom figured out what he was trying to tell her.
  • Gizmo was loyal to Dad to the end. Gizmo camped out on Dad’s bed, and even when Dad could no longer speak, he nearly always had a hand on Gizmo. Even after Dad passed, we couldn’t pry Gizmo from Dad’s side, so we let him stay and say his goodbyes.

These days, Gizmo is still supporting Dad – this time by pouring out his love on my mother. He’s already sleeping with her, and with Gizmo there, Mom is never alone. For my sister and I, visiting Gizmo is like having a little of Dad right there with us.

In the opening, I mistakenly suggested that I found Gizmo. That’s not quite right. I was just God’s conduit, a way for Him to deliver the gift of Gizmo to my father. There are a lot of things I don’t understand about God, but this I know for sure: God bundled up his grace and love in that sweet, furry package especially for Dad.  And for that, I am most thankful.

Handling the Haters

Any of you who have made positive changes in your life have encountered at least one person who gives you a hard time. For me, it’s a well-intentioned co -worker. Every time I pass on the treat that someone brings into the office, he taunts me with “you can’t live this way forever, so you might as well have one.”

When it comes to office treats, I almost always politely decline without giving an explanation or ragging on him for having it. I am guilty, though, of sometimes passing a judgment with my refusal. That’s why I love today’s post from Summer Tomato, “How to Eat Healthy Without Being a Buzzkill.”

In the post, Darya offers eight pieces of advice, including:

  • Don’t get defensive. (Perhaps my most common reaction.)
  • Don’t offer unsolicited advice.
  • Harmless lie.

Check out Darya’s post. And if you have other ways of dealing with the haters,  please share them.

December Non-Scale Victories

  1. Set December 31 goal: Comfortably wear a pair of 10p jeans that I purposely purchased a tad snug.
  2. Wearing a petite small shirt.
  3. Did not get impatient or anxious when testing 200+ lights on Mom and Dad’s pre-lit Christmas tree, nor did I turn to food to calm me.
  4. Made and shared one of my healthy pizzas with the family
  5. Have returned to HealthMonth after a month long absence in November
  6. Trying to get those leafy greens up with green smoothies in the morning
  7. Can actually feel the strengthening of my obliques!
  8. When doing leg press, I was amazed not only by the noticeable changes in my legs, but also the fact that my knee pain that plagued me 85 lbs. ago is virtually non-existent.
  9. Overslept training, but made it up after work, despite every fiber in my being not wanting to do it.
  10. Progress. This evening, I found myself wanting to take a walk instead of “needing” to do it. Took Gizmo for a great 40 minute walk around Mom and Dad’s neighborhood.
  11. During the very sad and stressful time that we are losing Dad, I have been able to maintain my healthy eating and exercise. Have not reverted to bad old habits, such as eating lots of fast food.
  12. Able to cope with Dad’s death without blowing it food wise.
  13. Did training with Daniel despite really not wanting to do so.
  14. Didn’t overindulge during visitation.
  15. Had a few too many cookies, but didn’t let it derail me totally.
  16. After two days of not recording food and eating a little dirty, I got back on the wagon.
  17. Bought a dress at Last Call, size 8!
  18. Despite REALLY not wanting do, got my 30 minutes of cardio in at the gym; even kicked it up a notch on the elliptical.
  19. Biggest non-scale victory yet: at this a.m.’s doctor’s appointment, BP was 96/60!
  20. When discussing med dosages, nurse said, “You’re small, like me.”
  21. When someone hugged me today, she said that I was “skin and bones.” I know I’m not skin and bones, but 85 lbs. ago, NO ONE would’ve said or thought that!
  22. I tried on a size 8 jacket, and it fit. Later, my friend’s teenager said, “I’m surprised you’re a size eight. I thought you would be a smaller size.”
  23. Moved heaven and earth to finish shopping in time to train, and I made it!
  24. At dinner, someone I don’t actually know that well told me that I looked great
  25. Even though the gym was closed, I did body weight exercises.
  26. Walked my new rescue dog, Marley Moon Pie, for cardio.
  27. An older male friend of mine took me aside at a Christmas party and told me how impressed he was with me making such positive changes with my health.
  28. My small/medium sized tights are now getting too big!
  29. Starting to see some noticeable changes in the mirror
  30. Ate a slice of pizza (organic) with mushrooms and tomatoes. Not to mention a (very) small apple salad beforehand.
  31. The only thing I overate on New Year’s Eve? Raisins.

 

 

January Non-Scale Victories

  1. Gym closed, but walked the dog to get that 30 minutes of cardio in
  2. Achieved new daily goal of consuming less than 1500 mgs of sodium each day (and it took some maneuvering)
  3. NOT being the new gal at the gym the first week in January
  4. Ate half a cup of leafy greens every day for a week
  5. Someone I worked with many years came by the City today and didn’t know who I was when I spoke. (He retired before I started losing weight.)
  6. Can pull off my size 12 jeans w/o unzipping them
  7. New sports bra = size M — and it fits!
  8. Someone who sees me every day told me that I looked like I was losing more weight.
  9. Actually enjoyed the veggie medley I made!
  10. This: http://bit.ly/yDazLG
  11. Packed my lunch to take to APWA retreat instead of ordering from Panera. (Even the salads there are so high in sodium!)
  12. After 16 months of training, I finally ran the ladder.
  13. I just love jeans Friday now that I have some fab jeans!
  14. One of my “skinny” jackets is getting loose
  15. Fought an intense desire to skip cardio today to not only go to the gym, but to do Traci’s elliptical challenge.
  16. Did 45 minutes on the elliptical — a new high
  17. Did 46 minutes tonight. There was sweat in places that haven’t sweat before.
  18. REALLY enjoyed this evening’s cardio.
  19. I noticed a difference in my abs this a.m. Something happening. Definition? Not sure. But a real change.
  20. Used kettlebells for the first time.
  21. People I’ve known for years didn’t recognize me at the polls.
  22. Noticing big changes in my quads.
  23. Made a salad at the Coull’s lunch for Sister Paula and didn’t hate it.
  24. Several people have told me I look  like I’m losing weight.
  25. Went to Talbot’s for the first time since losing weight and shopped in the petite section. Still surreal being there, much less buying a petite medium sweater.
  26. Wore hipster panties today! That’s a big non-scale victory!
  27. Coordinated a visit to a local, vegan restaurant for Keith, Julia and I
  28. Arranged to have groceries delivered to my hotel room in Kansas City so I could continue to eat well while away.
  29. Someone at our APWA meeting drew cartoons of each of us; mine included a carrot and tomato
  30. Made soup with cabbage in it (next NSV will be when I actually eat it!)
  31. Wore an above the knee dress, and two people randomly told me that my legs looked great.